My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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