Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
and you fell through a lawn chair
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
