i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
