he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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