it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
