Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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