K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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