yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
one two three fourrrrnication!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize