The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
