Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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