wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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