LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
