Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
