So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
