I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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