what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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