I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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