How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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