am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
