just come out here and I will go home with you...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
