38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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