...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
