You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
