Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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