just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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