he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
