you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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