so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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