He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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