dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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