Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
