my phone needs a breathalizer
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
