So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
