What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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