I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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