She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
