oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Btw I puked in your glovebox
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
