Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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