Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
