He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
