I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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