is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
