you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
