ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
