garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
