Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize