Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
