i don't like sucking hair
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize