he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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