Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
