We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
