I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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