I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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