i jhust puked up my retainher.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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