you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
His nipple licking is glorious
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