Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
