i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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