Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
