my sisters under your porch take her home
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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