Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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