Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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