i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
what day is it and did you see me today?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
